My dad’s birthday is January 27th. This post is dedicated to him.
I wish you were here. When you left I felt so alone. With you and mom both gone, I couldn’t call and get advice or share my ups and downs. In a split second I went from being your daughter to full-fledged grown-up. Even though I was 52, something about having you around made it easier. No matter what was going on I could call and you’d make it better. Although I was surrounded by family and friends after you passed it wasn’t the same. My heart had an empty spot that no one else could fill.
Remember how we’d talk every day? One of us would call the other and catch up on life. You’ve been gone for three and a half years but it seems like forever since I’ve heard your voice. In honor of your 93rd birthday tomorrow I thought I’d catch you up on what’s been going on. Maybe it will be feel like old times again.
We kids are doing well. Bob is driving truck again – all over the U.S. and Canada. He’s happy back on the road, except said he could do without all the snow. Sue broke her leg and required surgery, but she’ll be fine.
Speaking of surgery, looks like I’ll be dealing with that also. Hysterectomy – sometime in March. Not thrilled about it, but you always told me to keep my head up, so I’m trying to follow your advice.
I also (finally) followed your advice about going back to college. Yeah, it only took me 38 years, but I’ll have my BA in a few months. In English. Can you believe it? I guess all those nights when you helped me with my spelling finally paid off.
Remember when he was born, only five pounds? You were afraid to hold him. Now he’s almost as tall as you. He also loves music, makes up songs all the time and then plays them on your old piano.
You know, I never really had the ‘good cry’ after you passed. Every time I’d start, I’d stop myself. I thought I had to be strong, for me, for everyone else. I couldn’t let myself go and just weep. Still don’t like watching sad movies. Still can’t hang your most recent picture in the hall. Both made me too sad.
But, after writing this letter and going through half a box of Kleenex, I feel better. Somehow the gap in my heart is closing and healing has begun. It will take some time, but I know it will be okay. I’ll be okay. Thanks for being there for me, even now.
Happy Birthday Dad!